The odd thought of thinking I was inlove with someone. And years down the road I re-evaluate those emotions.
So many times I though I was inlove at the time, but there are a few people who I truly was inlove with. (Or close to*)
Nate, Austin, Tyson*, Dominic.
You have no idea how fucked up emotionaly I am because of you.
I constantlly fight with myself. Half of me says you’re an asshole, someone I can’t trust. Someone who knows they’ve hurt me on a very deep level. The person I constantlly want to scream at for not being the friend they are suppose to be.
The other half of me would give anything to be with, the person who knows some parts of me not even my closest friend has truly seen fully. The one who could make me smile more honestly than any other. The person I planned on being with for many years because I thought you were my soul mate.
You have no idea how fucked up and confused I am. You at least understand your feelings. You explained them to me in point form.
It tears me apart that you can explain all you feel for me in one sentance, when my list of feelings for you goes on forever.
I love you. And I worry I am inlove with you because those feelings never die… no matter how much I want them to.
4 turn off’s. bad hygiene, not very smart, lets things get to them too easily, no humor/too uptight
My best friend? Mandy
Sexual orientation? pansexual i suppose
My best first date? uh...
How tall am I? 5'4
What do I miss? working part time
What time was I born? 3:36am (roughly i think)
Favorite color? teal/purple/royal blue
Do I have a crush? i guess you could call it that?
Favorite quote? "hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down"
Favorite place? not really sure...
Favorite food? chicken Ceasar salad
Do I use sarcasm? yes but not as often as i used to
What am I listening to right now? my stomach still
First thing I notice in new person? face
Shoe size? 8
Eye color? hazel
Hair color? purple
Favorite style of clothing? grunge/punk
Ever done a prank call? wayyy back in the day
What color of underwear I’m wearing now? black and neon green
Meaning behind my URL? username since i was 10. and i liked james bond. kay ten double oh seven
Favorite movie? lionking 2, marie antionette,
Favorite song? atm fog-wintersleep
Favorite band? linkin park, MSI
How I feel right now? hungry, tired, emotionally and physically drained, and lonely
Someone I love. shane
My current relationship status. single
My relationship with my parents. not so great
Favorite holiday. halloween
Tattoos and piercing I have. no tats yet. nose, tongue, lipsX2, earsX5
Tattoos and piercing I want. chemical compounds of MDMA (left leg calf) , THC(other leg), serotonin (for left arm), and caffeine (right arm), death head moth on my left wrist, sailormoon moon on the back of my neck, 8 bit boo.
The reason I joined Tumblr. my friend joined it, and said I should, at first it was lame but then i got into it
Do I and my last ex hate each other? no... not really. he's just really mad at me
Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? not really
Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? yes
When did I last hold hands? like... fucking 4 weeks ago
How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? about an hour depends on how lazy i feel
Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? yes
Where am I right now? work >_>
If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? prolly mandy or shane
Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? loud
Do I live with my Mom and Dad? hell no
Am I excited for anything? seeing the hobbit on the 13th with a bunch of friends.
Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? not anymore
How often do I wear a fake smile? anytime i smile in public (and not with friends)
When was the last time I hugged someone? idk prolly the last time i saw mandy
What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I'd have a bloody break down
Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? yeah lots. most actually.
What is something I disliked about today? fucking everything
If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? jonny depp
What do I think about most? life
What’s my strangest talent? my sounds
Do I have any strange phobias? yeah kinda
Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind
What was the last lie I told? so cliche but "Yeah i'll be okay"
Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? vid chat
Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? ghosts yes, aliens uh... there has to be some sort of life out there.
Do I believe in magic? no
Do I believe in luck? no
What’s the weather like right now? blizzarding
What was the last book I’ve read? the claiming of sleeping beauty
Do I like the smell of gasoline? meh
Do I have any nicknames? lots Kay, fox, red, and keekee are the main ones.
What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? not really sure, i guess my knee when my ex stepdad slamed it into a table
Do I spend money or save it? both (I can't save much because i live on my own and have to pay bills)
Can I touch my nose with a tongue? nope
Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? highlighter, and nonos
Favorite animal? red panda, foxes, wolves, cats
What was I doing last night at 12 AM? playing minecraft with shane
What do I think Satan’s last name is? idfk idfc
What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? shut me up-MSI
How can you win my heart? if you're funny, and have a nice smile
What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "Stopped giving a fuck"
What is my favorite word? "meh""fuck"
My top 5 blogs on tumblr?
that's 6 i know but still
If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? "You all are fuckers, just stop being pricks"
Do I have any relatives in jail? ohhhh prolly
super-power What is that power? reading minds, or flying
What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? how many people have I had sex with
What is my current desktop picture? a tumblr pic of a field saying 'kick babies, fuck your moral bullshit'
Had sex? yes
Bought condoms? yes
Gotten pregnant? no
Failed a class? yes
Kissed a boy? yes
Kissed a girl? yes
Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes
Had job? yes im pretty much the boss
Left the house without my wallet? yes
Bullied someone on the Internet? no
Had sex in public? kind of? (forest alone in the night)
Played on a sports team? i wrestled back in grade 6/7 kind of (for school)
Smoked weed? yup
Did drugs? yup
Smoked cigarettes? all the time
Drank alcohol? yup
Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nope but I have been
Been overweight? yup
Been underweight? no
Been to a wedding? yes
Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yea
Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea
Been outside my home country? nope
Gotten my heart broken? yup
Been to a professional sports game? yes
Broken a bone? just my toes
Cut myself? yes
Been to prom? went to a winter formal (canada doesn't have prom)
Been in airplane? yes
Fly by helicopter? no
What concerts have I been to? a few. and folk fests
Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yea
Learned another language? started to, hated it
Wore make up? every day
Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes
Had oral sex? yes
Dyed my hair? yes
Voted in a presidential election? nope
Rode in an ambulance? nope
Had a surgery? not really. had my stomach pumped though
Met someone famous? kind of met Marianas trench at stampede
Stalked someone on a social network? lol no
Peed outside? not since i was like 4 (was hiking with my dad and we were in the mountains)
Been fishing? yes
Helped with charity? all the time
Been rejected by a crush? yes
Broken a mirror? prolly
What do I want for birthday? makeup
How many kids do I want and what will be their names? none at most 2. I love the sames, gray, violet, rain, edgir
Was I named after anyone? not really.
Do I like my handwriting? nope
What was my favorite toy as a child? my beanie babies or barbies
Favorite TV Show? how i met your mother
Where do I want to live when older? japan
Play any musical instrument? piano kind of... not really
One of my scars, how did I get it? middle of my eyebrows, cat attack
Favorite pizza topping? cheese
Am I afraid of the dark? yes
Am I afraid of heights? yes
Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yes
Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yup
What I’m really bad at. emotions
What my greatest achievements are. becoming assistant manager at more than one job, moving out and staying out, telling my dad fuck you when he paid my boyfriend $50 because I got an 85% in English when he thought I was going to get a 45%
The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. "go get your head checked because you're fucked and living in a delusional world, I haven't done anything wrong" from my mom
What I’d do if I won in a lottery. save most of it, live comfortably.
What do I like about myself? I learn fast
My closest Tumblr friend. uhhh
Something I fantasies about. having money, and being okay and not so stressed out with my finances all the time
Any question you’d like-what do I want to do as a career? professional freelance makeup artist.
So I know this sounds kind of mean or weird but I personally love when people I know drool over the people I’m with. Or at least think they’re very attractive. It’s like “yes, that beautiful person is interested in me i don’t believe it either”
So I’m curious on other peoples experiences with colorectal cancer. If someone could answer any if them it would help a lot since I’m currentlly just sitting around till I get more results.
What were your signs?
How did the doctors deal with it/ what did they do?
Did they make you see a specialist aswell?
How long did it take from the initial talk/tests did it take for them to get back to you?
Anything I should know?
We make eye contact and laugh, we poke eachother and chase eachother. We watch over eachother.
But when you look at me and you know I care, you notice that strange sad look I’ve been trying to hide. Do you feel anything?
It’s driving me nuts looking at you and being around you, and knowing you care in some way but you’l never act on it again. I am trying to be the best friend you could ask for but I also want you to love me. Its so fucking complicatef and fucked up.
So…. I was suppose to go to the bar with a bunch of friends. And hang out with some people I haven’t seen in a couple years and catch up.
Everyone bailed sept an old friend of mine brandon. So brandon and I have a bit of an odd history togther and we were kind of the people who should have ended up together in highschool but didnt. And I’m kind of worried that somethings going to happen and be awkward. Like I’m super worried he’s gunna try and flirt when really we always just stay friends.
People with uteruses will get about 500 periods in their lifetime. Meaning that you’ll be on your period for a total of around 1200 days. With a loss of about 1440 ounces of blood. Which is approximately how much blood there is in 9 adult human bodies. That, my friend, is some very badass stuff.
Can we say how much we adore that this says ‘people with utereruses’ instead of women.
Imagine you have a Rolex watch. Nice fancy Rolex, you bought it because you like the way it looks and you wanted to treat yourself. And then you get beaten and mugged and your Rolex is stolen. So you go to the police. Only, instead of investigating the crime, the police want to know why you were wearing a Rolex instead of a regular watch. Have you ever given a Rolex to anyone else? Is it possible you wanted to be mugged? Why didn’t you wear long sleeves to cover up the Rolex if you didn’t want to be mugged?
And then after that, everywhere you go, there are constant jokes about stealing your Rolex. People you don’t even know whistle at your Rolex and make jokes about cutting your hand off to get it. The media doesn’t help either; it portrays people who wear Rolexes as flamboyant assholes who secretly just want someone to come along and take that Rolex off their hands. When damn, all you wanted was to wear a nice watch without getting harassed for it. When you complain that you are starting to feel unsafe, people laugh you off and say that you are too uptight. Never mind you got violently attacked for the crime of wearing a friggin time piece.
Imagining all that? It sucks, doesn’t it.
Now imagine you could never take the Rolex off.”—The Wretched of the Earth: On Rape Culture (via exoticwild)
I hate you sometimes. I hate what you’ve done, and that you never actually show remorse, and the one time you did it made things worse. I love you so much but e erytime I see you I end up crying. I just want you to love me, but at the same time I want you to be out of my life completely.
I have been getting worse… I’m hoping by forcing myself to be social it will help me not be so…
I want you to cuddle me and kiss me in public and look at me like I’m the most important person to you but I also want you to pull my hair and breathe down my neck and fuck me until I can’t see or walk properly
2. Last phone call-Angie my manager up-dating me on a conference call
3. Last text message- Josh "yeah that sounds about right"
4. Last song you listened to-Lamb of God - Redneck
5. Last time you cried-last night
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice-yes
7. Been cheated on-yes
8. Kissed someone and regretted it-yes lots -__-
9. Lost someone special- yes
10. Been depressed-yea
11. Been drunk and threw up-yeah
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend- I think so =]
17. Laughed until you cried-yes random high and drunken nights at twins
18. Met someone who changed you-yes
19. Found out who your true friends were- hm... not sure
20. Found out someone was talking about you-yup currently happening.
26. What did you do for your last Birthday- Did M got drunk, long boarded for the first time, found out my aunt has cancer, and had a terrible dinner with my family.
27. What time did you wake up today-7 am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for-winter to be over -_-
30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time- never. I have 6, 3 different parents. two are step siblings with nancy and my dad, 1 with my mom and step dad, and 3 with my new step siblings with my mom and new stepdad.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life-Money
32. What are you listening to right now-a metal dubstep remix
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now-Shane
35. Most visited webpage-tumblr
36. Favorite colour-black or blue
37. Nicknames-Kay, Kaykay, Cleo cat, KeeKee, fox, red(when my hair was red)
38. Relationship Status-single
39. Zodiac sign-Taurus/rooster
40. Male or female-female
41. Primary school-lots mostly st.alphonsus
42. Secondary School-C MAC
43. High school/college the comp/alberta highschool of fine arts, and bert church
44. Eye color-hazel
47. Do you have a crush on someone-yes many people kinda
48. What do you like about yourself-not much -shruggs-
49. Piercings-lipsX2, tongue, earsx5, nose
51. Righty or lefty-righty
53. First piercing-other than ears, my nose.
54. First best friend-Mandy
55. First hookup-Mike my first time having sex. it was awful
56. First Boyfriend-nathan diprose. grade 7 and terrible.
61. I'm about to-clean
62. Listening to-more metal dubstep
63. Waiting for-friday
64. Want kids?-not really
65. Get married?-yes
66. Career-makeup artist
WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes-eyes
68. Hugs or kisses-kisses
69. Shorter or taller-taller
70. Older or Younger-older
71. Romantic or spontaneous-bit of both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms-arms
73. Sensitive or loud-sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship-relationship
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger- kindof?
77. Drank hard liquor-yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts-all the fucking time
79. Had sex-yes
80. Broken someone's heart-yea
82. Been arrested-almost
83. Turned someone down-yes
84. Cried when someone died-yes
85. Fallen for a friend-yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
88. Love at first sight-nope
89. Heaven-hell nope
90. Santa Clause-nope
91. Kiss on the first date-yup
93. How would you label yourself? erm grungey...i suppose?
94. Someone You Pray Everyday For-no one i don't pray
95. Did you sing today-nope
96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About-oh jeeez...shane, nate, austin, and dom i suppose.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? either victorian era (IF i was some sort of noble) or 1930's
98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For-to be my ideal appearance.